Essay #28 for Kalvos & Damian's New Music Bazaar


	The Essay
Show #28 Zappa, Ducks & Voices
	David Gunn

Bon radio. The clouds of harmonic constraint are gradually lifting, revealing a new openness towards discordant notes whose stems, taken collectively, are longer than the sum of each musically randy -- that is to say, random -- part. To put this another way, the sounds your ear are currently processing and trying to decide how best to present to your brain without causing acute ontological discombobulation would not be possible before May 27 of this year. To restate this in terms familiar to anyone who has ever been locked up in a lunatic asylum for 27 years -- such as Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade, the death anniversary it serendipitously happens to be today -- it's Episode 28 of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour Expansive, this week broadcasting from our remote radiophonic site in a duck blind overlooking our normal sesquistudio, which has been temporarily evacuated pending investigation of a small, ticking package in the mail room, which coincidentally happened to be the first piece of mail addressed to Kalvos and Damian. So we await the discovery of its contents with ... resolve. (duck call) And ducks.

The snow squalls which blew through the area earlier today, adding to December's normal weather woes, have disrupted many a broadcast afternoon and, as a public service, the New Music Sesquihour Meteorological Upheaval Advisory Panel now presents a list of radio stations which are closed or otherwise inert today. WBOB, WKJR, the Vergennes Radiophone Consortium and WOOW are all closed. WHAH's Ampersand Hour will be rebroadcast at 7pm. WJAM is experiencing technical difficulties with its radar detection system and expects to be off the air until Tuesday. WHAR, which has been missing from the airwaves for over a month, continues to be missing, and additional information continues to be not available at this time. WBLT is closed today pending a shipment of whole wheat toast with mayo. WBBKING is on the air, we're just not sure where. And Vermont Pirate Radio is back off the air again, following another protracted skirmish from disenchanted stockholders at last night's board meeting.

This just in -- to adjust rhetorical deficiencies in the backlog of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Antimatter Displacement System, or le flambeau oriange, radio station WGDR will be off the air for the next six minutes (dead air for 6 seconds). Correction, that should read six seconds. And this concludes today's report from the NeMSMU Advisory Panel.

This portion of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour Expansive is ... well, it just is. What more can be said?

Today is also the 53rd anniversary of the first man-made nuclear chain reaction, courtesy of the Bronx Division of the Manhattan Project, without which modern day conceptual artists would be unable to microwave cadavers for use in performance art. It's also the 5th anniversary of the final chord of Aaron Copland, a 20th century composer whose works will be featured in an upcoming episode when Kolvas is out of earshot of the studio, due to a severe allergy to Copland and his gymnastics tutor, Nadia Boulanger.

And speaking of allergies and their corollaries, symphonies, here's the spokesperson for the only large orchestra composer never to have composed for a large orchestra and still regretted it, Kalvo.